In the middle

I am nervous, I am tired, I am excited, I am poeping myself...... The training seems so daunting, the prep seems never-ending, the prep of the maps seems complicated....

I guess this is the time I ask WHY.  Beyond the excitement of such a big goal and the chatters over coffee or dinner there are hours and hours of training, loss of rest, hours of bike prep, a sore ass, a semi-constant bubble of excitement or nervousness in my tummy or just plain nauseousness with nerves.  Why, why, why?  What on earth drives me to these big goals?

 - They make for good stories
 - They make great memories
 - I feel strong and capable
 - There is no sense of wasting my strong, super body - with all its lumps and bumps and bruises and       scars
- There is no feeling of wasted opportunities.  My sense is that there is not much chance of, when I        pop my clogs, that I will feel I have missed out on chances that were in front of me.  There is one        life I have.  I would like to think that when I do die I will go screetching into my grave (in what          ever form it takes) with scars and scrapes with a glass of bubbly in one hand whooping and                  whooing knowing I had the most brilliant ride of my life!
- There is that elusive feeling of challenges - doing the challenges, being challenged, over-coming the    challenges, living, breathing, BEING the challenge